last christmas

oh, tis the season to be jolly... fallalfallflalf... or drunk
anyways.
just a merry christmas to anyone who reads this
which im sure is only me
so yey. merry christmas miffy!
totally awesome
have a safe and happy holiday
x

The day she suddenly realised

She would always be alone, only a dog as a companion, the only one to show her love.

lets make it number 8

I dropped my icecream
and like a good 19 year old girl should do
i sat on the step which i tripped up
and cried my heart out
my poor icecream
shattered and splattered down the stairs.

i laughed afterwards coz it was so pathetic.
I must be tired and worried.

Photographing a wedding tomorrow
bit nervous, just need to be organised and pray the rain goes away!
x

aaarrrrrhhhhh

A helicopter just flew over. It reminded me how much I hate helicopters.

I had a dream last night that I was taking photos for the wedding on sunday, and the cameras went flat.
man it was scary.
ugh. must charge cameras!
x

Long lost memories

I find it funny that everyone (well.. the very few people) i have hurt, have gone on and found someone. Those who once though I was the one for them, only to have me turn on them and reject it, after, i suppose, me leading them on for a while.
I guess thats karma.

Only problem is that Im the one still thinking about them. Not in a way that I want to be with them, more the way that I feel as if I have hurt them.
Im also just jelous because they werent good enough for me (wow that sounds bad.. rephrase)... they werent the right ones for me... (much better), and I let them find someone else, so Im still alone. I suppose I enjoy being single, but sometimes you just want someone, some affection.
I cant seem to get that from anyone who actually cares for me, so I seem to be going to the wrong people, then IM the one who gets hurt. Stupid world.
So, I hate hunting for boys, but sometimes it seems thats all I do. Look around the streets, sing chelsea dagger, huuh, and uuh at boys. But never anything is really gunna happen. I should have made out with wheres wally.

So, I just wonder if all the mistakes I have made in the past are just going to haunt me forever. I know ive tried to forget about these people, but theyre always in the back of my mind. I suppose its guilt. But I dont know what I can do about it! I cant just msg them out of the blue saying "sorry for being a bitch and not talking to you, but hey, you creeped me out and were a bit too full on, you should have known im a commitmentphobe!".... theres a couple of reasons for that not gunna happen... a) thats not right for me to go and intrude on what seem to be like perfectly happy (bah what is that) relationships
and b) i deleted their numbers.

So... Im the bitch. I know that, I did bitchy things on the weekend, another lot of things I should probably take back but my pride (and carly) wont let me... I just have to deal with the consequences I suppose. Ill just be lonely till someone totally awesome and worthy of what is known as ... awesomenss... come and take me away... maybe somewhere awesome. Ok, drifting.
But the moral to this story is.... Never be horrible to people who dont deserve it, its you who will feel the pain later down the track.
Learn from my mistakes.
x

Ikea and cabinets

Today Carly and I went to Ikea with friend Sharyn and a person. Her name was Carly also.
Hah. Anyways. So, after sitting, losing trollies, collecting trollies and all that jazz
We did the long walk through the showroom, where for the first time ever I wrote down where the things I wanted were.
And how successful was I!
Very, so successful that I spent my first $116 at Ikea. Usually I only ever spend about $3. But no, this time I bought a table and a cabinet and a couple of cute things that I have hunted for for months.
So, the car ride home was clearly awesome, you could even say eventful... I may have been mistaken for a rider on a rollercoaster. My seat didnt lock in due to the awesome boxes in the back. Well, it may have been dangerous, but fun always wins over danger.
Anyways, I made it home alive.
I put together my red table, easy. Its now in the corner of my room holding my studebaker and looking fabulous.
Next was to put my locker cabinet together, I knew this would be awkward enough, but little did I know how unco I actually am.
Thank the lord for fathers hey!
So, after a whole lot of stress, a cabinet was put together
and how wonderful it is!
Id show you a photo, but i havent put them anywhere yet.
So, thats the story. I have wonderful Ikea things in my bedroom now.

the end!
x

Things to be forgotten

So, of late I have had a very bad bad short term memory.
This can come in handy if you want to forget things you have done recently.
Like my saturday night, I had plenty of fun, went to the cavern, danced lots, then headed over to gosh with James and Ellyn. Strange things went down at gosh though.
I ended up at a place I did not want to return to, and I made another mistake. I wish that was part of forgetting. How ever, I was taken care of none the less.
I should be greatful of the person who lent me a bed and helped me in the morning, but I feel as if I have done something wrong. Anyways.
I need to now question why we do such stupid things when we know they are so wrong!
Was it the alcohol, was it the need for safety and something familiar? or was it just coz my brain didnt work and I couldnt think of anywhere else to go.
Yes, carly, you know what I mean, and I know you are dissappointed in me, But if it makes you feel better, there was no snuggling! hahaha.

So, I ended up sleeping all day yesterday after catching a train from adelaide to noarlunga home alone, I should have eaten more satuday night, I woke up and was sick with nothing! I hate that, it hurts lots.
Im so charming.
I got in a punch up in bed and am waiting for the bruises.
I have found a scratch approximately 14 centermeters long on my upper arm
and Many bruises and scratches everywhere else.
I need to thank Nick and his friends, pity I cant remember their names, for catching a taxi to where ever with me and keeping me safe and stuff.
I am sure that I should thank other people. but heres the deal. I think only one person will read this, and shes already mentioned. Silly spotty children, though we love them so!

So this is my farewell, I need to continue to listen to dean martin and nat king cole. Their voices are wonderful and safe and remind me of granma. What a lovely place to be.
Anyways. thats all
adu adu to you and you and you.
I watch too many old movies
x

A new beginning

Welcome to me! Whoot.
Well. Since I have begun blogging more often on the wonderful Myspace.. cough... I decided that maybe, just maybe, i could follow in the footsteps of an awesome wonderful person I know.
So here I am!
Yep anyways.
First blogs are always a bit dodgy aren't they just?!
I shall probably be back later on this evening to make another post.. Just because I can.
All you need to know is this.
Carly and I are TEAM AWESOME.. no reason. Only that we are pretty awesome.
Other info to come.
The End


Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's